Instantly Change Your Life

Hello. I’m really excited about today’s thought as it has such a large bearing on not only who we are, but also how we respond to situations out of our control! So, I’m real happy you are here and we should just dive straight in.

We’ve spoken before about beliefs, and I feel it’s worth discussing again as I heard of an experience a colleague had a few days ago that reminded me how important and controlling beliefs can be.

Pete is a travel writer. He visits motels, hostels and caravan parks and writes how it would fit different types of travellers… families, back-packers, older couples etc.

Doing this for five years has meant he has seen a lot of beds, a large number of kitchens, and even more owners and managers. His experience means that he is quite the expert when it comes to staying somewhere outside of your home.

Last month he visited a motel that he had visited a few years before and thoroughly enjoyed. The owners had recently sold up, and he was keen to meet the new management.

He wrote in his column that it was the worst experience of his life! I asked him how a motel could go from being one that he would highly recommend to a place that would make the list of his worst five!

Pete explained that the new owners did not introduce themselves to him when he arrived and in fact did not even meet with him until late that evening while he was sitting in the lounge area working on his column. While in full concentration an older gentleman with a stern face entered the room and sat next to him, close enough that he could read over his shoulder.

The owner introduced himself, apologised for not meeting with him sooner, and started telling Pete how things had changed since he had taken over and what should be covered in the write-up.

After being barraged with a heap of information (which was useful, but Pete felt unnecessary) the gentleman explained how he was a busy man, had somewhere to be, shook Pete’s hand and left.

Pete became furious. Who was this person to ignore Pete all day, then while he was working to come in, tell him how to do it, and just as abruptly as he came, he was gone?

I asked Pete if the information the gentleman gave him had any worth, and he replied that it was good information and made a lot of sense with the changes that had taken place within the motel, and a lot of it was used in his final draft.

I then posed a question which stopped Pete in his tracks… Did this experience remind him of an experience he had from his past?

Pete’s face went quite red, his lips tightened and he said in an aggressive voice “Yeah, my maths teacher in high school, Mr. Morris”.

He went on to explain that it was the week before the final exam and Pete was studying profusely when Mr. Morris came and sat with him offering assistance with a particular subject that Pete struggled to get a grasp of. The topic was difficult for Pete and no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t get it.

Pete then looked at me and I’ll never forget the look on his face as he said “I turned that manager into Mr. Morris. He took time out of his busy schedule to meet and talk with me, and I turned him into my teacher that even though he tried to help, I felt like he was telling me how to do my job… at the time the information just wasn’t helpful and I got frustrated.”

Pete had a belief that older men telling him what to do meant that he would fail at a difficult topic.

Even though this belief was created in his teens, it had cemented itself in his life. Pete was even able to recall other experiences where the same sort of thing had happened.

Now, are there times in your life that are similar and have occurred in various forms over the years? They could all be influenced by a strong belief that you have created.

As we have discussed before, beliefs help us understand our environment and we create them from about the age of two years old. As we grow beliefs get amended or deleted as we have experiences that prove them wrong.

In some instances, we either create a belief that gets re-enforced many, many times making it very strong, or we create a belief that does not get tested by experiences and therefore just exists.

As adults our experiences change, but for a lot of us our beliefs do not. We keep applying beliefs we created in very different circumstances to situations we have today. They simply no longer make sense, but until we question them they simply wait for us to apply them.

The awesome news is that beliefs can and do get amended and adjusted simply by acknowledging they exist and reviewing their place in your life as it stands now. Recognising a belief exists automatically changes it!

In Pete’s case, he recognises that information from older men provides him with an opportunity to harness and incorporate their experiences into his own life.

Take some time to review your beliefs, and when you recognise an emotion you don’t like in the future, see if you can recognise the belief that got you there and simply adjust it as necessary.

Some beliefs are harder to break, and this is where talking with a coach or counsellor is extremely beneficial.

We are going on holidays for two weeks, so it’s a great opportunity to go through and review the previous “Thoughts of the Day”. Keep sending in those emails, and I look forward to catching you again in two weeks.

Have a great day, enjoy life through being in control of your beliefs.

Live your Ultimate Life.